‘CSI: Crime Scene Investigation’ Not Quite Dead On Arrival

I have never watched an episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Nor have I ever peeped CSI: Miami. Or CSI: NYC. Or CSI: Cyber. Or the spin-off of the original, CSI: Vegas.

According to a very non-exhaustive Google search, this is 838 episodes of television I have never watched.

And much like the fact I’ve never had cottage cheese or skydived, the truth is, I don’t feel like I’m missing much. I mean, I’m guessing — and for all you CSI heads out there, feel free to drop a note to tell me if I’m wrong — but I’m guessing someone dies and then someone else solves the murder. 

Either way, I can promise you I will not be spending any remaining time I have on this Earth watching CSI: Anything. And for that matter, I probably won’t spend any more time playing the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation slot on BetMGM.

The nitty gritty

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is a 6×4 grid with 25 paylines, paying left to right on consecutive reels starting from the leftmost. Standard stuff so far. But this game has a few tricks that got me pretty psyched, only to leave me a little let down.

First up: target symbols. When they land, they leave a frame behind on that space. Those frames persist, and every 10th base game spin, all of them turn wild. So you’re essentially building your own wild setup over time. It’s a slow burn, but when that 10th spin hits, the board can light up. Worth noting: The frames are tied to your bet level, so switching stakes means switching frames.

Outside of those frame-triggered wilds, there are no wilds in the base game. So you’re really banking on that every-10th-spin mechanic to carry you.

Free spins trigger when you land four scatter symbols on reels 2, 3, 4, and 5. Once you’re in, you get to pick your poison from four options: low volatility gives you 12 free spins with at least six guaranteed wilds on every spin; medium gives you eight spins with eight wilds; high gives you four spins with 10 wilds; and random lets the game decide for you. 

During free spins, multiplier symbols show up on reels 2 through 5, and you’re collecting them as you go. The more you grab, the higher your multiplier level climbs, and each level has its own range. When the free spins end, the game awards a multiplier from whatever range you reached, applied to your total free spins winnings. Anything you won on the spin that triggered the bonus gets added on top, untouched by the multiplier.

If you’re impatient, you can buy your way in for 75x your bet, which bumps the RTP to 94.4% and gives you the same four volatility options. The base game RTP sits at 94%.

Let’s take a spin

I wanted to love this game. The “building wilds as you go” is very similar to my all-time favorite slot, Scarab.

But that’s where the similarities seem to end, as my big issue with the game is that the payouts are … not hefty. Even during the wild round.

At one point, I had something like 15 wilds out of the 24 spots, most of them on the left-hand side. It appeared I was in for a big payday. I made all of $3 on the 20-cent spin.

Clearly, winning big at this game depends on hitting the bonus, which I did not do this time around. I did hit it a few weeks back, and it ended up paying out $27 and change on the 20-cent bet. Which was certainly hefty. But without hitting the bonus round, the game seems destined to chip, chip, chip away at your bankroll. The every-10th-spin wild feature is fun, but the vast majority of my 20-cent wild spins yielded less — often significantly less — than the $2 it cost me to get there.

The verdict

The every-10th-wild feature makes it fun. The bonus round can be very profitable if you’re lucky enough to hit it. But that’s really it. In all my spins — must’ve been 300 — not one “regular” spin yielded anything resembling a “big” win. Not even a 5x. That steady drip of losing makes me want to change the channel. Is Law & Order: Des Moines still on?