The Definitive Ranking Of Fruit, As It Pertains To Slot Machines

Today, we are going to talk about fruit. 

Not actual fruit. Well, yes, actual fruit, but in the context of slot machines. And let’s get started with a fun didja know: Didja know the fruit symbols have been spinning on reels since the early 1900s, when manufacturers needed to get around anti-gambling laws in some states by making their machines gum dispensers?

That’s right. The reason slot machines have fruit symbols is because they used to pay out fruit-flavored gum instead of money. When you hit three cherries, the machine spilled out cherry gum. Three lemons, lemon gum. The whole thing was a fruity scam to avoid prosecution.

And now, a century and change later, we’re still using the same symbols. Cherries. Lemons. Grapes. All of it.

So today, I’m doing what nobody asked for: definitively rank every fruit that appears on slot machines. From worst to first. Scientifically. Objectively. Fruitfully.

Let’s go.

10. Lemon

Dead last. And it’s not even close.

Lemons are the worst fruit on slot machines, which makes sense, because lemons are the worst fruit in real life. Nobody eats a lemon. Nobody bites into a lemon and thinks, “Mmmmm, delicious.” You use lemons to make other things taste better, which is weird, because they taste terrible by themselves, but I’m not Gordon Ramsey, so let’s move on.

Also, lemons were one of the first fruits used on slot reels, which means we’ve had over a century to realize this was a mistake that we still haven’t fixed.

And in slot machine hierarchy, lemons are typically the lowest-value symbol. Even the slots know lemons suck.

9. Plum

Plums are fine. That’s the problem. They’re just fine.

Nobody gets excited about a plum. Nobody says, “You know what I’m craving? A plum.” Plums are what you eat when all the good fruit is gone. Plus, they turn into prunes. Gross.

8. Strawberry

Strawberries are half-awesome, half-terrible in real life. On slots? Meh.

First, they don’t show up that often. Some slots include strawberries, but they’re not classic. They’re Johnny-come-latelys.

Second, strawberries are fragile. They go bad in like 20 minutes. Buy a container of strawberries, leave them in the fridge for any amount of time, and at least two of them get moldy-hairy-yuck. That’s not the energy you want from a slot symbol. You want durability. Longevity. A strawberry can’t handle that responsibility.

7. Apple

Apples are solid. Reliable. Boring.

Apples appeared on early slots as one of the fruit-gum flavors, but they never became iconic. Why? Because apples are the default fruit. The control group. The participation trophy of the fruit world.

They’re OK. That’s all they are. OK.

6. Pineapple

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Pineapples are fun. They’re tropical. They’re visually interesting.

But here’s the problem: Pineapples aren’t classic. They’re not original. Give it another 100 years, I’m moving pineapple up the list.

Also, pineapples are a pain to eat. You need a knife. Sometimes a machete. Perhaps even a wife. That’s too much work for a fruit.

5. Banana

Bananas are the people’s fruit. Cheap, portable, easy to eat. The perfect snack.

But on slot machines? They’re underwhelming. Bananas show up occasionally, especially in tropical-themed games, but they’ve never achieved icon status.

Why? Because they’re yellow? I dunno. Maybe. Weird shape? Perhaps. Reminiscent of … something.

4. Orange

Oranges? Now we’re cooking with gas. 

Oranges were one of the original fruit symbols on early 1900s slots, right alongside cherries and lemons. They represented orange-flavored gum, which is objectively better than lemon gum.

Oranges are bright. They’re recognizable. They’re classic. But they’re not the best. They’re the middle child of slot fruit. Respected, but not celebrated.

3. Grape

Grapes are underrated.

In most slot hierarchies, grapes are high-value symbols, right up there with the top tier. Why? Because grapes are associated with wine and wine is associated with sophistication. Ooh la la and stuff.

Also, grapes are visually appealing. That deep purple pops on a reel. You see grapes, you know something good is happening.

The only reason grapes aren’t higher on this list is they’re tough to eat. Like, you might choke. And they’re damn near impossible to get the “perfect” amount of. They’re stuck to their little trees, you think you’re grabbing like 15 of ’em, and next thing you know you’re holding 125 grapes and things get crazy. Crazy! 

2. Watermelon

Watermelons are elite.

They’re big. They’re bold. They’re summer in fruit form. Watermelons command respect.

Also, watermelon is objectively delicious. Nobody dislikes watermelon. If you dislike watermelon, you’re wrong. Perfect fruit. 

The only thing keeping watermelon from the top spot is that it’s a pain to deal with in real life. You need a cutting board. A big knife. A plan. It’s a whole production. Plus, you need like 40 people to eat it with. And they’ve heavy. But outstanding. And I’m old enough to remember when they had seeds in them.

But on a slot machine? Flawless.

1. Cherry

Of course it’s cherries. It was always going to be cherries.

Cherries were one of the first fruit symbols ever used on slot machines in the early 1900s and they’ve been the face of slots ever since. When you think “slot machine,” you think cherries.

Why? Because cherries are perfect.

They’re bright red. They’re instantly recognizable. They’re fun. Cherries are slot royalty. They’re the GOAT. The gold standard. The undisputed champion. They’re the only fruit that get the maraschino treatment.

Honorable Mention: BAR

And finally, we have BAR.

BAR isn’t a fruit. It’s the logo of the Bell-Fruit Gum Company, which made the gum that slots paid out in the early 1900s. The logo looked like a stick of gum, so it became the BAR symbol.

It’s not a fruit, but it’s been on slot machines for over a century, so it deserves recognition.

Is it better than cherries? No. Nothing is better than cherries.

But BAR is a legend and deserves mention here.

So there you have it. The definitive ranking of slot machine fruit symbols, based on science, history, and my own impeccable judgment.

Cherries are king. Lemons are trash. Everything else is somewhere in between.

And if you disagree with this list, you’re a fool. Go eat a prune.