Sorry If I’m Not Bullish On The Three ‘New York City’ Casinos

New York City is one step closer to getting three casinos! That’s the basic headline everyone is seeing this week, after the state’s Gaming Facility Location Board (GFLB) voted unanimously Monday to forward the applications of Bally’s Bronx, Hard Rock Metropolitan Park, and Resorts World to the New York State Gaming Commission (NYSGC).

It’s widely expected the NYSGC will rubber-stamp the applications, and New York City — if you can make it there, etc. — will be the home to not one, not two, but three world-class casino complexes.

Yawn.

I know, I should be more excited about this. After all, these casinos will be basically 75 miles from me, from where I live in central Jersey. And where I grew up, in north Jersey? Like 40 miles. Hop, skip, and a jump. 

This notion was highlighted by Greg Reimers, one of the board members of the GFLB.

“The downstate market is among the strongest in the nation, supported by population density, income levels, and tourism,” he said. “The sizable population within a two-hour drive will support sustained visitation supplemented by domestic and international travelers.”

Well, sure, there’s population density. And yeah, of course, New York City has some high earners. Tourism in the Big Apple? Huge. Population within two hours? Massive. Travelers, both domestic and international, coming to the city? That’s a 365/24/7 operation.

So what’s the issue?

The issue is two of the casinos will be in Queens and the other will be in the Bronx. While both boroughs are, very technically, part of New York City, they are also, very metaphorically, not.

New York City is Manhattan. The Bronx and Queens are … the Bronx and Queens.

Arm twisting required

To get me to go to the Bronx or Queens takes either free tickets and free transportation to the Yankees or Mets or a forced visit with some random aunt who may or may not have died a decade ago.

Taking the train into Manhattan for a night on the town, to meet friends for dinner, to catch a Broadway show? It’s easy, it’s a pleasure, it’s what we do.

Getting in the car and taking the New Jersey Turnpike to the George Washington Bridge to the Cross Bronx Expressway to the Harlem River Drive to the Grand Central Parkway? And then … drive back? Honestly, and this is not hyperbole … I think, at this point in my life, I’d rather lose the tip of my pinkie.

I know, that sounds very hyperbolic, and push comes to shove, I probably just make the drive, but … I don’t know. Give me general anesthesia over local, and I have a real decision to make.

And these are not just the rantings of one lazy lunatic.

My father grew up in Queens. He will sometimes take a 70-mile drive out to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania to play quarter slots at the Wind Creek. It’s a highway drive all the way. Interstates and all.

Driving to Queens or the Bronx for him? Almost half the mileage, and probably a little less time in the car. Seems like he’d head to New York over Pennsy, right?

Wrong.

“I’d continue going to Bethlehem,” he told me after two minutes of him wrestling with Alexa to stop playing music in order for him to hear what I was saying. “Nowhere near the amount of traffic, a much easier ride. Plus I’m going to run into extra tolls. It costs $1.25 to get to Bethlehem, and it will cost $30 to go to Queens before I even turn around.”

And, of course, all of this doesn’t take into account the existence of Atlantic City. 

No pep in my schlep

All told, while I’m reasonably certain these “city” casinos will end up doing just fine financially, I do think there’s a lot of rose-colored-glasses-ing going on here.

If you live in Queens or the Bronx, or out on Long Island, sure, you’ll go to these casinos.

But if anyone thinks New Jerseyans are going to schlep out to the Bronx to play Huff ‘N Puff, that’s mistaken. And tourists? Come on. I don’t see a family from Iowa or China or Paris deciding it’s worth the $100 Uber (one-way) ride out to Flushing to play blackjack. (And yes, they can take the subway, but come on. Not happening.)

Full disclosure: My sour grapes take here is partially because I was really pulling for a casino to land in Manhattan, specifically the planned Caesars in Times Square. That would’ve fit, would’ve been part of the circus. That would’ve attracted tourists and New Jerseyans alike. That would’ve been fun.

Going to the Bronx or Queens? Not fun. At all. 

Look, I get it. These casinos are going to generate money. Smarter people than me have run the projections.

But when the inevitable happens and these places underperform the lofty expectations (and they almost certainly will, as pointed out by consultant Alan Woinski in a Business Journal article) — don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Sorry, Bronx and Queens. It’s not you, it’s me. 

Actually, no: It’s definitely you.