Judge Upholds Ban On Stopping On Vegas Walkways — A Ban I Support

A federal judge has upheld Clark County’s ban on stopping on pedestrian bridges along the Las Vegas Strip, and while I have some questions about the whole making-standing-still-a-crime thing, I wholeheartedly support the underlying, if incidental, Vegas tourism advice.

Keep walking. In fact, pick up the pace a little.

The story is this: U.S. District Judge Jennifer Dorsey upheld the ordinance, which carries penalties of up to six months in jail and/or a $1,000 fine. County and police officials have said they aren’t targeting tourists stopping for selfies, although the ordinance doesn’t say selfie-takers are safe. They’re more trying to make sure no one is setting up shop on the walkways. Or using them as a residence.

It’s reassuring, I guess, that the selfie crowd is not the focus here. Come to Vegas, photograph yourself enjoying Vegas, post to Facebook and wonder why you only got three likes, and trust that Johnny Law will be reasonable about the standing-still portion of the experience.

The county’s stated goal of this ordinance — which was first passed in 2024, and was challenged by the ACLU — is to keep pedestrians moving safely. Fine. Makes sense. But one of the people who challenged the law uses a wheelchair and, I would imagine, might need to rest her arms once in a while. Point being, there are sometimes perfectly good reasons to stop on a bridge.

Having said that, there are also perfectly good reasons to keep moving in Vegas, which brings me to three Rottweilers outside a Denny’s.

The following is rated PG-13

Last year, I went to Vegas for the Blackjack Ball. A few weeks earlier, I’d been there for G2E at The Venetian, my first visit to the city in 30 years.

I loved The Venetian. Restaurants, shopping, casino, everything. Outside of a trip to the pharmacy, I didn’t leave the hotel. Why would I? Everything I needed was inside. I would move in there for a month if given the opportunity (by my very smart bosses and the equally intelligent Venetian braintrust).

For the Blackjack Ball, though, it was a one-night deal, in and out, so I decided to save my company a few bucks and booked a well-reviewed Holiday Inn just off the Strip near the MGM Grand.

At around 2 p.m. Saturday, I decided to take a stroll.

This was a mistake.

Almost immediately, I encountered a homeless couple and their three Rottweilers on the other side of a concrete barrier next to Denny’s. The dogs gave me what I considered an overly enthusiastic greeting. My heart attempted to check out of the Holiday Inn without me.

Still, I soldiered on.

The Strip, in my estimation, was like Times Square with the tackiness dial turned up five notches. In about 20 minutes, I was offered sex and drugs. I didn’t see a police officer. I did not feel particularly safe. I felt like a mark.

So, back to the hotel.

That’s when some dude yelled, “WATCH OUT!”

I watched out. There was nothing to watch out for. He thought this was funny, and then began walking alongside me.

Now I’m a block off the Strip with a large, moderately scary new friend who tells me he needs a shower because he woke up next to a woman he didn’t remember in a roomful of sex toys.

“Last thing I remember was giving her some ketamine,” he said. “So I asked her if I had a good time, and she said I did.”

What happens in Vegas … gets shared with me on the sidewalk, it would appear.

I turned toward my hotel. He turned toward my hotel.

Maybe he was friendly. Maybe he wanted to rob me. Maybe I was being recruited for the afternoon sex and ketamine session. I wasn’t interested in finding out.

Then I remembered the dogs.

I deliberately rounded the concrete barrier. The Rottweilers barked, strained at their leashes, and delivered the full Rottweiler experience.

My companion lost his mind, screaming at the couple about how he could’ve died.

I took the opportunity to double-time the remaining 50 or so steps to the hotel lobby, where entry required a keycard. Brilliant invention, the keycard.

And that’s why you keep moving while in Vegas. Airtight logic, my friends.

Anyway, I understand that my little excursion is not a legal argument. The ACLU has constitutional questions. The county has crowd-control concerns. Those deserve to be heard. The ACLU is appealing, according to reports.

But if you’re asking me for vacation advice, it’s this: Keep walking.

Preferably toward The Venetian. If that’s too far, look for three Rottweilers near a Denny’s. They were enormously helpful as it turns out.